No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
