She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
