I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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