I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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