Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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