So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
