So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
