if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
