When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
