I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize