Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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