Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
