its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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