OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
