after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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