How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize