They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
