I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize