I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize