I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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