Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
