I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
