Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
