i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
