I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
