This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
