My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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