would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
