and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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