You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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