I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize