Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You took a bar mat shot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
