Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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