Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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