So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
