Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
