I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
