There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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