The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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