just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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