Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
