It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize