He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this will be a night to untag.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
