Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
