It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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