Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

...the American dream.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment

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(858): View more from California

I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool

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