Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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