Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize