marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
