i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
