Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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