We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
