"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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