sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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