I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
