what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
