I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize