Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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