I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
